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"She was right, now that I thought of it. Having Charlotte dye her hair for all the scenes where she was the aggressive slut character was perhaps a little too blunt."The last thing we want to do is imply that the audience is stupid. It'll be way more powerful if they suddenly 'get it' on their own." Right!" I said slowly, suddenly getting it on my own."And this part here, where you're filling in the back story in dialog? Don't do that. It's really unrealistic for Fiona to be talking like a narrator, and it'll take the audience out of the story a bit." Which part?" Well, here: 'When I was little, I was locked in a pitch-black closet all day at a friend's house, and my parents didn't find me until morning. That's when I first met Fiona. I was laying there screaming and crying for an hour and finally I heard her voice teasing me, telling me what a baby I was.' It just seems a little forced at this point in the story, know what I mean?" I just thought the audience should know what. So that I could tauntand humiliate her even more. We'll see who wins at the end. Me? I have the whole time in the world. Since I have Stacey in my clutchesanyway. But what about my poor little Stacey? For how long can she endure these "exercises"? And she's not going anywhere, so I can keep it coming... I can wait... Butthe question is; can Stacey handle it? CHAPTER: 13 ENTER: Talia Page I was getting impatient with Stacey... Days passed by... But nope, still nosign of obedience from my captive... Of course I wasn't being lazy all this time. With the help of items in herpurse, I went through an extensive research on my captive. I'm glad that women keep so many personal stuff in their purse. I found asmall adressbook in Stacey's purse. That book contained passwords to her e-mail, icq, MSN accounts. A mystery was revealed before my eyes. I went through an exhausting amountof work. I read every single e- mail, icq history in her accounts. And finally I found the key to breaking Ms..
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